The Secret of My Life: today's ANYW entry

The secret of my life is I hang out a lot with divinity. Perhaps this is why I rarely get lonely.


I started practicing this early, maybe in my languageless companionship with John. Like today "go under the bridge" I "hear" like I had earlier "heard" to turn the car around and fetch a chair before I left home so that I would be comfortable once I went under the bridge. Once I agreed, "ok, I am going all ready!"

It is relentless, sometimes, the divine nudging, cajoling, nagging so most of the time I just walk alongside it and follow what it says.

Today the divine brought me into one of my favorite spots to write. A loud silent place, under a bridge, graffiti on the walls. I love it. I can't hear a thing there except the sound of flow. I see in my notebook where I wrote, "Come write with me you crazy person, write!" I suppose that was divinity saying, "Write this into an essay, Julie! Write it I dare you!" so here, I sit and I do.

When I was under the bridge with the water flowing I realized some people would label this little slice of heaven "smelly." Never, I say. Interesting smell. Sort of like decomposition and nature, changing form from one to another. I watch the trees sway above me and I realize I can't hear the leaves with all this flow around me. I call the sound of leaves in the wind 'God sounds' since so often I hear the divine in the rustling leaves.

Today I exchanged one version of God sounds for another. Sometimes we hear divinity differently.

Under this bridge I can't hear the Sheriff's firing range that was bothering me while I was above this spot. I watch as a leaf offers itself to the river and a blue dragonfly investigates the trees and settles on a large grey rock so I can see the dragonfly actually has a red body and its wings are blue. I look up and see some of last year's leaves freckling the green leaves and branches of a large tree above me.

I see a spider web bridging the river, too, echoing this spot where I am sitting.

Later, the web seems to have disappeared, playing a silent game of peek-a-boo with my pen.

I thought I was seeing destruction. I wasn't. I just needed to perceive from a different angle.

I stop to pause, noting my fingers first wrote a wrong word: angel. They meant ANGLE, as in moved differently to see a different perception.

"Now you see me, now you don't!" giggles the angelic spider web, so delicate yet so hardy.

The secret of my life is I can write volumes without noticing, without needing to converse with any humans, just me and the insects, the water, the leaves and that grand blue heron (or perhaps some family of egret) gracefully outstretching her wings and gliding up river from me when my arms lifted too fast and she lost trust in me.

I wrote that line and felt, when I noticed I started to hear cars on the bridge, its time to turn. Time to go home. Time to see what is next, there.